Over the years I've heard many heartrending stories about abortion. Although each story is unique, a common thread moves through them all – abortion changes you.
I know. My child would have been 22 this year.
When I was eighteen, I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend said he'd kick me out of our apartment if I didn't have an abortion, and my employer agreed that this was the only logical option. She even offered to make the arrangements.
My experience at the abortion clinic was painful and humiliating. I cried that day . . . and the next. Then I cried alone because my boyfriend and I broke up.
Although I hadn't felt this way before, it was clear to me afterwards that abortion had ended the life of my child. I felt guilty and had a sense that I deserved to be punished—in fact, I desired punishment. As a result, I sank into depression and self-destructive behavior.
My experience brought me to church, but I wasn't sure that Jesus could forgive me. I often found myself thinking that if people in church knew what I had done, they wouldn’t shake my hand—and certainly wouldn't sit next to me.
Some of you reading this know exactly what I mean. You may have lost a family member to abortion. You may have friends who have participated in an abortion. Or perhaps you have had an abortion yourself. If this is the case, you know firsthand how deeply abortion changes you and how many people are touched by it.
If you are struggling about a past abortion—either your own, or that of someone close to you—know that you are not alone. Know, too, that your loss is real and that your feelings about it are also real. Most of all, know that God is eager to comfort you, forgive you, and give you peace.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
—Psalm 34:18 (RSV)
Often, after I deliver a college lecture or tell my story in a church, I hear stories that reveal the wide ripple effect of abortion. Click here to read and understand some of the wrenching personal experiences that people have shared with me.
© 2008 Abortion Changes You
More articles in this series
Abortion Changes You
Sharing the real experiences of real people can be a starting place for those seeking healing and for those wishing to assist others through the grieving process.
Can We Talk About It?
How do you reach out to someone you love without causing more pain?
My Child Would Have Been 22 This Year
I was completely unprepared for the emotional fallout after the abortion. I thought the abortion would erase the pregnancy. I thought I could move on with my life. I was wrong.
Michaelene Fredenburg is the creator of the Abortion Changes You® outreach. To read Michaelene's story about her abortion and how she found healing, click here. Also, visit www.abortionchangesyou.com to find a safe place for individuals touched by abortion to explore others' stories, tell their own story, seek healing, and access resources.
A Time to Speak
A Healing Journal for Post-Abortive Women
Twelve true stories expose 12 myths of abortion in this compassionate guide into healing. Each chapter begins with one woman's story, then moves through questions for reflection, a thought for "going deeper," a love letter from God, and open space called "Your Time to Speak."
Hear My Voice: Holly's Story A Solitary Sorrow Men and Abortion
A Journey to Freedom and Hope
Feel with Holly the depression, remorse and alienation from her friends she endures after she aborts her baby. Savor, too, the acceptance, forgiveness and hope she finds at a crisis pregnancy center.
Finding Healing & Wholeness After Abortion
More than 1 million women in America have abortions each year. Unfortunately, rarely do these women have the chance to face and work through the deep emotional wounds that remain. In A Solitary Sorrow, the authors address women's intensely personal struggles and help them find reconciliation, hope and healing after an abortion. The paperback is also complete with personal stories and a list of other helpful resources.
A Path to Healing
Dr. C.T. Coyle
Abortion's aftermath upon American men has been largely ignored, depriving them of much-needed help to forgive everyone involved in their abortion experience, including themselves. This guidance will help men express their grief, exchange it for hope and healing, and be in a position to help others.
Hear My Voice: Holly's Story
A Solitary Sorrow
Men and Abortion