These are some of the stories that people have shared with me in the hope that it will help someone else. I have concealed their identities to respect their privacy and the privacy of their family and friends.

I thought I was helping my girlfriend . . .
When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I told her I'd help her with whatever she decided. She said she was having an abortion and that was it. I didn't feel good about it, but I was determined to support her decision.

I wanted our relationship to last. I thought having the abortion like she wanted would help. But we were both changed afterward. I tried to keep us together. I tried so hard. But things kept getting worse until we finally broke it off after two years.

I carry tremendous guilt about this. Abortion forever changes you. It changed my girlfriend. It changed me.

—Zack

My wife gets depressed around the anniversary of our daughter’s abortion . . .
When my daughter, Lisa, was in college, she became pregnant by an older man. She called her mother and me for help. Ann immediately went to be with Lisa and to help her think through her options. We wanted Lisa to have the baby; but ultimately, she chose to have an abortion.

My daughter has never gotten over it. Lisa never married, and now it appears that she’ll never have any children. Since Lisa is our only child, that means we’ll never have grandchildren.

My wife has never stopped grieving the loss of our grandchild. Every year on the anniversary of the baby's due date, Ann mourns and struggles with depression. Yet she won't talk about it with Lisa because she doesn't want to cause our daughter additional pain.

—Justin

We made the decision together, but I’ve never felt so alone . . .
After both sets of our parents urged us to have an abortion, Randy and I began to doubt our decision to get married before finishing college and have the baby. Hurt and confused, we went to my doctor for the abortion.

We got married after graduation and Randy started medical school. We waited to have children until after Randy finished his residency.

We love our children, and Randy is successful in his field. But there is always a void in our home and in our marriage.

—Susan

© 2008 by Perspectives

More articles in this series

Changed
Over the years I’ve heard many heartrending stories about abortion. Although each story is unique, a common thread moves through them all – abortion changes you.

Can We Talk About It?
How do you reach out to someone you love without causing more pain?

My Child Would Have Been 22 This Year
I was completely unprepared for the emotional fallout after the abortion. I thought the abortion would erase the pregnancy. I thought I could move on with my life. I was wrong.

Michaelene Fredenburg is the creator of the Abortion Changes You® outreach. To read Michaelene's story about her abortion and how she found healing, click here. Also, visit www.abortionchangesyou.com to find a safe place for individuals touched by abortion to explore others' stories, tell their own story, seek healing, and access resources.

Related Resources

A Time to Speak
A Healing Journal for Post-Abortive Women
Yvonne Florczak-Seeman
Twelve true stories expose 12 myths of abortion in this compassionate guide into healing. Each chapter begins with one woman's story, then moves through questions for reflection, a thought for "going deeper," a love letter from God, and open space called "Your Time to Speak."