For those of us familiar with the LifeSteward banquet model, we know the importance of table hosts. In short, sound table hosts make a great event.

When I served as a LifeSteward trainer I made it a point to say that table hosts do not need to invite the 8 richest friends they can find to fill out a table of 10.

Instead, the key is inviting friends who, if they knew more about the ministry, would be inclined to join our ministry's team of financial supporters. We should join our Lord in looking at the heart. If we find people who we believe will have a heart for the ministry, we're on the right track.

Wise stewardship
As we look for hearts, we also need to be wise stewards of the funds given to underwrite our event. If our tables are filled with those without an inclination toward the ministry, we're wasting the funds our underwriters invested in us.

To keep this from happening, let's make sure and train our table hosts. Here are a few possible pitfalls, or commandments, we need to share with our hosts at our pre-banquet dessert or over the phone (and on paper, if necessary!).

#1 Thou shalt not invite 1/2 couples
If our table host calls John and Jane Smith and Jane says, 'I'd love to come, but John won't," we politely say, "If he can come, give me a call back. Tell him we want both of you to come." The reason? Few couples make major financial decisions unless both are participating.

#2 Thou shalt not invite the whole family
Well-meaning table hosts sometimes want to invite their children so they can see how important the ministry is, or to hear the speaker. Yet we must be gently adamant and remind our hosts that because this event is underwritten, every seat needs to be occupied by someone who has the capacity to give on their own.

#3: Thou shalt not invite friends who only want to hear the speaker
One of the great things about a well-known speaker is that it's easy to draw a crowd. The downside is that many come only to hear the speaker, with little intention of giving more than a nominal gift (and they get a free dinner!). Our table host may hear from a friend, "Oh, I'd love to hear so and so!" This could be the right person to ask; but the friend's desire to hear the speaker is not our only criterion. Our hosts need to exercise discernment.

#4 Thou shalt not create "Church" or "Group" Tables
When hosts simply invite the church staff or everyone in their club, the table can get the feel of belonging to a group or organization. When this happens, those at the table do not always see the appeal as being focused on them. My experience as a speaker is that when I hear guests say, "Oh, we're in this club," or "This is the Community Church bunch," I'm concerned about results.

This is not to say that if every couple or single invited by a host is from the same church or club that this is always wrong. If each person or couple understands this is a fundraiser and they will be asked to consider their individual gift, we're fine. But when a club comes with a "group check" in hand and fills a table, or when a supporting church gets a full table for "whosoever wants to come," our results usually suffer.

Four quick thoughts, or commandments, to share with our Table Hosts. When we share these possible pitfalls up front, we give our table hosts a great opportunity to succeed in their task of inviting friends who will consider joining our team of financial supporters.

Letter reprinted by permission from LifeTrends. Kirk Walden is Founder and President of LifeTrends, one of America's leading development firms serving more than 1,000 pregnancy help ministries. He is also a humorist, a writer and frequent banquet speaker, having envisioned audiences at more than 100 events. If you'd like to know more about the resources provided by LifeTrends that can be used to encourage your volunteers, educate your Board and reach your supporters, or if you're looking for a great speaker for your next banquet, contact Kirk Walden at kirk.walden@comcast.net or visit LifeTrends' web site at LifeTrendsOnline.com.

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