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Your Daughter's Abortion and You

Sanctity of Human Life Dept.

The grandparent of a baby you cannot see or hold, can never “spoil,” because your grandchild died during the “termination” of your daughter’s pregnancy. How do you feel about that? Does it trouble you that your daughter participated in the act that ended your unborn grandchild’s life? How do you feel towards your daughter — bitter, angry, relived, compassionate, confused, guilty, ashamed, hurt?

Think About It

Did you know about the abortion before hand? Did you attempt to meet your daughter’s needs, whatever they were so she could carry the baby to term? Or did you go along with your daughter’s decision? Perhaps you were the one who counseled your daughter that abortion was the right “choice.” Do you regret the part you may have played in your daughter’s abortion decision? Or do you feel guilty because you feel there must be of been something more you could have done to stop it?

One thing is certain: you and your daughter are bound together by the fact that the baby is gone and nothing will bring him or her back. The question is, where do you go from here?

She’s still your daughter

Perhaps she broke your heart because she didn’t trust you enough to tell you she was pregnant, or because she wouldn’t listen to your advice not to have an abortion. God gives us children for life. You will always be your daughter’s parent. She will always be your child — no matter what.

Realize your daughter may have had the abortion to spare you the disgrace of her immorality becoming public, or because she didn’t want to admit her sexual activity to you.

Understand your daughter may have not considered that abortion kills an unborn baby. She ran into the arms of people who were willing to help her “resolve” her problem through a “quick fix” abortion. Now she may hurt more than either of you realizes.

Comfort your daughter as she experiences spiritual and emotional turmoil, which is a consequence of her abortion decision. You lost a grandchild, but your daughter must live the rest of her life knowing she participated in the death of her unborn baby. If she is willing, talk through the hurts together. Cry together. Work through a post-abortion Bible study together. It will help you both.

Mending broken relationships
Perhaps your relationship wasn’t good at the best of times. Now the abortion has badly damaged what relationship remained between you. More importantly, your daughter’s abortion has damaged her relationship with God. But God still loves your daughter and wants her reconciled back to Himself. God also wants you and your daughter to reconcile with each other.

Come to God through Jesus Christ and receive forgiveness for any guilt you may have in your daughter abortion or for any wrong feelings you may have held against your daughter. Jesus came to Earth to die, be buried and rise from the dead in order to free you daughter from the guilt that binds you to the aborted baby. If you were involved in your daughter’s abortion decision, don’t let it ruin your life. Talk to God about the hurt. Give your guilt, shame and anger to Him.

Build a new relationship with your daughter based on the principles set forth in the Holy Bible — love, trust and forgiveness. Begin to establish a more open, caring relationship with unconditional love that says, “I’ll always love you…no matter what.”

Going on
The pain of abortion is ripping families apart. Building a new relationship centered on Jesus Christ is binding those families together, making them closer and stronger than before. Allow God to take your hurts, bind up your wounds and put the pieces of your life back together with glue so strong that no power on earth can break it.
God alone can mend your broken heart. But first you must give your heart to him.

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