Fairy Tales

She knew she was pregnant. But knowing didn't ease any of the aches in her heart. Knowing just meant she had to make a logical decision. Feelings? Those had to be set aside as she weighed the options, "Do I keep the baby or not?"

Jen sat on the doctor's table, head propped up by her hands, memories flashing through her mind. Jen was in a world of her own — she was looking out the window, daydreaming. Evening sunlight caught the golden pieces of dust, a magical mist that surrounded Jen and her handsome knight. He was whisking her off on his horse to a safe place, a place where they could begin the "happily ever after" part of the story.

She blinked a few times and remembered where she was — and why she was there. Her childhood fairy tale was, of course, childish; but it remained deep within her. It followed her through high school and into college. Just the idea of that guy, the man who would love her always, never left her.

Then she met Dave. Her daydream rapidly became reality. He was perfect in every way. Until a few weeks ago when she discovered she was carrying his child. Her picture-perfect dream shattered into a million pieces. Reality crashed around her as she heard phrases like, "Just try the abortion pill" "Go with the easy fix" and "No worries! Pop a pill and your troubles are over!"

Here in the doctor's office, her mind spinning and heart racing, she wanted to know more. It was like they were saying, taking this pill could be the easiest way to pretend nothing ever happened; and her fairy-tale daydream could still one day come true.

Reality Check

RU-486, mifepristone, is the name of what sounded like a miracle pill to Jen. Turns out, after visiting with the doctor, the pill was about the furthest thing from what Jen had been hoping for. She'd been told it would be easier than having an abortion. Simply swallow the pill, it does its work, and the baby, or the tissue forming the baby, would be gone. Little hassle, all done in private, relatively painless. Perfect.

Not really. The doctor had something to say as he explained facts about RU-486. First, he said, it must be used within the first 49 days of pregnancy. In this time period, the baby's heart is beating, five fingers on each hand have formed, the baby's body begins to move, its arms and legs and the eyes and ears are easily distinguished. ¹ Because Jen was not far along in her pregnancy, she was still a candidate for the pill. She asked the doctor to continue. He launched into details much more complicated than she'd imagined.

First of all, it wasn't just one pill. The process involved a series of pills that would induce the chemical abortion, followed by several visits to the clinic for cervical exams. The first pill, mifepristone, would deplete the lining of her uterus.² It basically would prevent progesterone in her body from working, and as that occurred, the blood supply to the developing embryo would shut off and the baby would suffocate to death.³ Two days later she would return to the doctor's office to receive the second pill, prostaglandin, which is taken to induce labor, causing her to deliver her baby.⁴ Few, if any, reliable longterm studies have been done on the effects of of RU-486, the doctor explained, so there were no guarantees.⁵ The doctor showed her one of the pills. Jen held it and scrunched her eyebrows as she thought about its power to change lives — and to end a life. The doctor filled her in on more details of the process; and Jen heard herself saying, "Okay. Let me just do this and get it over with." She tried to shake off the feelings of guilt, sadness and shame that crept into her heart, threatening to swallow it whole. But she made her decision, and she was going to go through with it.

No Turning Back

Taking the first pill didn't seem to have much of an effect on her. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, after all. She returned to the clinic for the second drug, took the pill with a long drink of water and pretended it was just an Advil — to ease her mind.

Later that afternoon, she started feeling nauseated. Then the cramps and the bleeding started. They were not so bad at first, but by dinner, they were getting intense. She could not keep anything down. The cramps and bleeding increased, and by now she was a little bit scared — getting close to becoming terrified. The cramps were so severe, she wished she'd taken the doctor up on his offer to prescribe an opiate-based painkiller. One of the advantages to the pill was its privacy, yes, but now it was too private. A nurse or doctor — anyone — would have provided a great deal of comfort right now. That night was a long one, and the next day saw no improvement.

She spent most of the morning in the bathroom. Afraid to use a tampon for the bleeding, she just sat on the toilet. The cramps seemed to be getting worse and worse, and then they quickly subsided. Jen waited for them to resume, but they did not. Maybe the worst was over. She went to get some juice from the kitchen, but something caught her eye. There, floating in the toilet water, was — her baby. She flung her hand toward the knob and flushed the toilet. She stood there frozen as the water carried her baby to its grave. Immediately, she wished she had not done so, but what other option did she have? Could she have held that tiny thing in her hands? It was too late now. She leaned her head against the cool wall and slid to the floor. It was not supposed to be like this. Her little fairy tale had turned into a life-sized nightmare.

The next week, she returned to the clinic for a final visit. The doctor examined her to ensure that the abortion had gone to completion. He explained that 5 to 10 percent of women still require surgical abortions to complete the process.⁶ He'd mentioned this on her first visit, and she'd assumed she'd be "in the clear." She was, only because she had expelled the baby. Had the chemicals not worked, a surgical abortion would be required. Next thing she knew, the woman at the front desk handed her a sheet of paper with the bold, glaring headline reading, "What to Expect Now." It included symptoms like: ⁷

• bleeding (up to a month)
• possible infection (RU-486 suppresses the immune system)
• possible hospitalization due to hemorrhaging
• possible miscarriage or birth defects of future children
• extreme sleep disturbances
• impaired future fertility

1. "The First Nine Months," Focus on the Family, LF177, 4,5.
   
2. Marc Bygdeman, M.D., "Use of Antiprogestins Before 63 Days of Amenorrha," Clinical Applications of Mifepristone (RU-486) and Other Antiprogestins: Assessing the Science and Recommending a Research Agenda (Washington, DC: National Academy Press, 1993), 165.
   
3. Connie Marshner, "Pro-Lifers to the Rescue?" Focus on the Family, Citizen magazine, July 1998, 15.
   
4. Janice G. Raymond, Renate Klein, and Lynetter J. Dumble, RU-486: Misconceptions, Myths and Morals (Cambridge, MA: Institute on Women and Technology, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and Melbourne, Australia: Spinifex Press, 1991), 28.
   
5. "Facts on RU-486," January 1995, 10. Americans United for Life (No Author).
   
6. Ibid., 9.
   
7. Lawrence F. Roberge, M.S., "RU-486:The Hidden Effects," Living World (Winter 1998-99), 20-22.