Excerpts from: "How To Really Love Your Pregnant Teen
with Wisdom, with Guidance, without Condition"
Here are Some Ways to Help Your Pregnant Teen:
Family Matters - Lighten your daughter’s burden by offering to tell close family members about her pregnancy. They need to know because:
After sharing the news, remember:
- It gives family an opportunity to express their genuine concern.
- Siblings, because they are closer in age, may offer her unique sympathy.
- They may have suggestions you haven’t thought of.
- You can unite as a family to be a support for her.
Decisions, Decisions….Your daughter faces many options. Be her guide as she considers:
- To respect one another’s opinions.
- You are not obligated to act on every suggestion made by others.
- Family members may strongly disagree on some decisions.
- Ultimately, it’s your daughter and the life inside of her who are affected by the decisions made by your family.
Parenting the child —
- How much do you and she actually know about how adoption works today?
- Would this option free her to continue the life she’d planned for herself?
- Have you considered the statistics which dramatically demonstrate the importance of a father in a child’s life?
- Help her weigh the pros and cons.
- Will she move out and raise the child on her own?
- What are the financial implications?
- What role are you willing to take in the child’s upbringing?
- Will she depend on you to help her raise the baby? Explain that, as the mother, she is the parent.
- Sort through your own feelings and only offer that which you feel comfortable.
- Is your daughter in love or simply trying to remedy the situation?
- Are they mature enough to bear the responsibilities of marriage and be effective parents?
- What are the long-term implications? Another mistake — divorce?
- Objectively and lovingly share your concerns. Then give her freedom to make the decision.
Don’t Deny It – You need support too! You can best help your daughter when you are strengthened and healthy. Check out the people and places ready to help:
- Refuse to worry about your family’s reputation. It does not matter what other people may think when they see her pregnant.
- If she’s a Christian, faith and conviction that life begins at conception eliminates abortion as a choice for your daughter.
- Serve as a steady, rational voice when your daughter is tempted to overlook her beliefs.
Higher Ground – The spiritual lives of both you and your daughter have been catapulted into unknown territory. Regardless of spiritual maturity or how well you think you’re handling things, don’t ignore this critical part of each other’s well being. Take action by:
- Pregnancy Resource Centers (they have a wealth of information and can refer you to other parents who have “been there”).
- Church (pastor, Sunday school and Bible Study groups).
- Youth leaders (they are in-tune with what teens are dealing with).
- Other parents who have gone through similar experiences.
- An existing parent support group (or be willing to start your own!)
- Other agencies in your area working with unmarried pregnant women.
What you’re going through is not easy. There are no simple, pat answers to direct you on this unexpected journey. Though this booklet provides some guidance to help you, you may need more insight and support. Don’t hesitate to go to your local pregnancy resource center found at www.Optionline.org for personal counseling.
- Requesting that your pastor or other mature Christians help you and your daughter grow through this situation.
- Remembering that God is big enough to handle your doubts and questions.
- Resting in the fact that God’s love is everlasting and unconditional.
- Realizing that sometimes God doesn’t make sense, but pain can be necessary to pave the way for healthy growth.
- Receiving the help that others offer.
Sanctity of Human Life Dept.
Copyright © 2005 Focus on the Family All rights reserved. International copyright secured.