Coley Strickland and her friend, Lani Downing, have a lot in common. They live in adjacent states, bore children four days apart and both believe in Christ. And, they both understand the mixed emotions associated with placing a child for adoption.

“I was very depressed. I emotionally struggled after his [my baby’s] birth. I didn’t think anyone could understand what I felt,” says Coley.

Lani, just three hours away, was brokenhearted too. “During the pregnancy and subsequent relinquishment, there were times I cried and asked God ‘Why?’” 

Desperate for answers, both women logged on to adoption.com where Lani sent up a smoke signal in the form of a post. “Is anyone out there?” Coley tapped out a response that began a deep and comforting friendship. 

“Coley and I have formed a great bond,” says Lani. “She took my pain and turned it to joy. She’s part of God’s plan for my life. Oh, how I needed her!”

Because both women understand how difficult it can be to find someone who understands, in 2003 they formed BirthMom Buds, a nonprofit organization, to provide support for birthmothers and education about the advantages of adoption.

“We’ve supported and encouraged each other, now we want to provide support and encouragement for other birthmoms,” says Coley.

The Buddy System is a main component of their plan. “We hope to help birthmoms make friends quickly without all the searching that we went through,” says Coley. Birthmothers fill out a short, online form and they are matched with another birthmother through e-mail or by phone based on location, age, and other important criteria. 

And, while friendship is crucial, BirthMom Buds offers much more. Coley and Lani want to help birthmothers rebuild emotional and spiritual health, provide mentoring opportunities, and educate the general population about adoption. BirthMom Buds also provides resources and services for prospective adoptive parents and adoption professionals. Topics such as “What to Consider if You’re Considering Adoption” and “Evaluating Parenting Readiness” are covered.

Coley and Lani aren’t the only women who believe in the mission of BirthMom Buds. To date, the program boasts a network of over 400 birthmothers in 48 states and three countries. And, most importantly, Coley and Lani are living proof that God can redeem any pain in life to glorify Himself and bless others. 

Coley is confident God can bind up broken hearts. “Although Lani and I were brokenhearted, we’ve learned that life can be joyful again."