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Because of You
A Heart Turned to Truth
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My Esther Moment
It was Sanctity of Life Sunday and I struggled with an invitation I had been given to speak at my church. I had a real heart's desire to be obedient, but a deep awareness of my own inadequacies and fears. "Why pick me, God?" I asked. I am just a mom, just a professional volunteer. Driving and being available are My strongest credentials. The battle raged on all fronts. I struggled physically as I considered speaking to 3,000 fellow Christians. I struggled emotionally as I considered both the difficulty of speaking the truth, and the pain of hearing the truth. I struggled spiritually as I prayed to know for certain what God was leading me to share that morning. The battle escalated and I found myself overwhelmed with grief and confusion. It was at that point that my Bible study group came along side of me. Several of us were called to speak that next day at churches across town. I was not alone, as they too felt the battle. We gathered together, prayed and read scripture. We stopped focusing on our speeches and began focusing on God. We were strengthened a verse at a time. I had a renewed conviction that God was in the midst of this battle and I no longer would be afraid. As I left my home to speak on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, I prayed for obedience and deliverance. I praised Him for His sovereignty and I thanked Him for this moment — this Esther moment. I prayed for miraculous intervention, for boldness and for the courage to deliver His message. I was seated next to a visiting pastor from a Russian church. He saw my obvious anxiety and leaned over to ask if I was okay. I said, "not really," but that I was confident God would show up soon! "Please pray for me!" He laughed and replied, "God is never late, it's just that He's rarely early!" I stood and walked up to the pulpit. As I looked back at my pew, the Russian pastor and his wife were bowed in prayer! I stepped up to the microphone and Jesus met me there! The struggle was suddenly behind me. I spoke with boldness and confidence that didn't come from within me, but from God. I took a deep breath and those words, that I know now were God's and not mine, rang through the sanctuary. I spoke of God's tenderness and mercy. I spoke of the power of the Gospel to change hearts and lives. I spoke of God being the God of second chances. I realized God had given me those words "for such a time as this." The response was immediate and dramatic. God, that very morning, had gently led a young woman to that church for the very first time. In the last row of the balcony she sat alone and anonymous to all but God. Through a moment of blind obedience, the opening prayer included Psalm 139, reminding her of the intimacy of the God who created her. Through a moment of blind obedience, a 3-minute ministry report became an invitation for her personal restoration and forgiveness. Through a moment of blind obedience, a sermon became the arms of Christ, outstretched to receive her grieving heart. I know now why God prompted me to speak those very words. God had put them there for her — and the baby she had aborted the day before! It was "for such a time as this," that the Lord used me to deliver His message. It was "for such a time as this," that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ to save us all from the depths of sin.
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