My boyfriend and I had dated for almost 4 years; we were in love and happy. During our relationship, he joined the United States Army to advance his career. I was devastated, but he promised to come back and marry me. During the summer of 2007 while he was home on leave, I got pregnant. When my boyfriend returned to his base in New York, I made a very difficult phone call, and while on the phone, we waited for the pregnancy test to tell us the results.

As the words "pregnant" appeared, I began to cry. Without saying a word, my boyfriend hung up and didn't call back for two days. When we finally spoke, he was adamant that I have an abortion right away. I knew in my heart that it wasn't right to take the baby's life, but I also felt that I was faced with no other option. I was already a struggling single parent, and without his support, I felt that abortion was my only way out.

When I was around 6 weeks pregnant, I made an appointment for a medical abortion (RU-486), but when they handed me the pills, I decided not to take them. A week later I was scheduled for a surgical abortion, but instead, I visited Birth Choice Clinics and asked for an ultrasound so that I could see my baby. It was hard seeing my child on the screen, but I was glad that I did.

After my visit at Birth Choice, I made another appointment for a surgical abortion. I had to wait a week before I could be seen and I was in constant turmoil the entire time. I hardly slept and couldn't eat much. I knew I didn't want to kill my baby, but felt I had no other option. The day finally came and I was praying to God for forgiveness for this act that I was about to commit. I cried the entire way there and in the parking lot. Once I was in the clinic, I tried to contain myself because there were so many other women waiting with me. The smell of death filled the clinic, and the heavy weight of sadness descended on me as I waited.

After about 45 minutes, they finally called my name. They took my money, had me change into a hospital gown, and then left me sitting alone in a sterile room. As I waited, I couldn't help but wonder how my little baby was doing inside of me. After seeing him on the ultrasound at Birth Choice, I knew that he was feeling safe and secure in my body, innocently growing, while just minutes away his own mother was about to take his life without warning.

I was then rushed into the procedure room, and they had me lay down on a steel bed. My heart was racing. I couldn't believe that I was about to end my baby's life. As the nurse put a tourniquet around my right arm, my entire body began to shake in fear. As she was about to puncture my vein to put me to sleep, I closed my eyes and then quickly sat up and said, "Wait, I don't want to do this, I don't think I can."

The doctor was clearly annoyed and breathed loudly, mad at me for wasting his time. The nurse led me to another room where they said I could rethink my decision, giving me one more chance to take my son's life. They said that I needed to hurry up and figure it out because the doctor had to leave, and he had three more abortions to complete that day. After about 10 minutes of crying and desperately trying to contact my boyfriend, I got dressed and went home.

My boyfriend finally called me back the next day, and I had to tell him that I didn't go through with the abortion. He called me every rude name possible and degraded every ounce of my character. He told me that I was ruining his life and the lives of everyone close to me by bringing a baby into this world. He said that I would be single for the rest of my life because no one would ever want to be with someone like me. I told him that God will get me through it and that He would bless me for not killing my baby. But after hearing his anger and listening to him degrade me, I began to wonder if I had made the right decision.

A few weeks after my experience at the abortion clinic, I decided to go back to Birth Choice. I wanted someone who was on my side after the constant verbal abuse by my boyfriend. Birth Choice welcomed me with open, loving arms as I asked them, "Please let me see my baby one more time." Through the ultrasound, I was able to see how much my baby had grown. After watching him kick and wiggle, I listened to his heartbeat for the first time. It was then that I knew for sure that I would not have the abortion.

I am grateful for Birth Choice and all that they do for women like me. Through prayer, counseling, classes and unexpected gifts, they continually confirmed my decision to keep the baby. Their support and generosity made me feel as though God was blessing me for giving my baby life.

My son, Jaden, is 5 months old now. He was born a healthy 9lbs. 6oz. on April 27th, 2008. When I look at him, it brings tears to my eyes that I came seconds away from ending this beautiful boy's life. I thank God every day that he saved my son from death; I can't even begin to imagine my life without him, he is such a miracle. His father has never met him and says that he never wants anything to do with either one of us. Despite his anger and the way he continues to belittle me, I still pray for him almost every day.

When Jaden was dedicated in our church, he was given a Bible verse that said: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I think that says it all.

Chanda visited Birth Choice Health Clinics.

Faces of Option Ultrasound Index

All Pregnancy Medical Clinics in the Option Ultrasound Program provide limited obstetrical ultrasound as medically indicated.  Clinics are licensed to operate under the supervision of a physician, using only trained sonographers. Focus on the Family does not endorse the use of ultrasound outside of a medical clinic setting and does not endorse the use of ultrasound for non-medical reasons.  Patient referrals are made to physicians for follow-up diagnosis and care as needed.