I told my friends that something just didn't feel right. I had this feeling once before, and I knew what it meant. My friends told me everything was okay — it's usual to miss a period or two right after you have a baby. But it didn't feel okay — it felt as if I was pregnant again.

I thought to myself, "I am seventeen and possibly pregnant with my second child." Who was I to turn to? My friends didn't want to talk to me about what I was feeling, and my parents had already been through enough with me having my first child at sixteen.

This was when my boyfriend and I decided the best option for both of us would be an abortion. There was no way we could raise another child. I felt as if I had already given up enough of my life for my first daughter. Nothing else was going to take away what was left in my life!

I looked up places in and out of Oklahoma that did abortions. I found out prices, and my boyfriend and I decided to use our income tax refunds to pay for the abortion. The farther along you are the more expensive an abortion becomes.

Our tax refunds took weeks and weeks to come in, and when we finally received them, I set up an appointment for the abortion. They told me it would be a two day procedure. That is when I decided to do some research on the computer about exactly what happens during the procedure. What I found out was so horrific — you can't even imagine what that baby goes through!

They go in with this tong looking object, and because of how far along I thought I was, they are not able to pull the baby out in one piece. No, they go in and start off with the legs. They grab hold of one leg and twist it until it comes unattached from the body and pulls it out. They do the same with the other leg, the arms and the torso. The head is last, because of its size. They crack the skull like a nut, and then bring that out in pieces also; just the thought of someone causing so much pain to my child made me break down in tears. How can someone do this for a living?

I finally told my mother that I thought I was pregnant. I also told her I wanted an abortion, but I was scared. That's when she sat down and we discussed the procedure. She said in some cases it doesn't just take the baby's life. Then, she asked me about when I took the pregnancy test and the results. I told her I never took one! She was so surprised and told me that was the first thing I needed to do.

So, we went to Birth Choice, and I took a test there. We waited for the results, and while waiting, they talked to me about other options if it was positive. I was still stuck on getting an abortion. My life was already hard enough with my daughter, and I couldn't imagine another one! It was time to read the test, and it said that I was pregnant. Of course, my mother and I broke down in tears; I didn't know what to think.

Then, Pat told me she could do an ultrasound if I wanted to see the baby. I agreed. I wanted to see what was in me. While doing the ultrasound, I realized how real this baby already was. I saw the little arms and legs. I saw the heart beat. It was a little person. At that point, I knew I couldn't have an abortion; it's like signing a piece of paper for someone to kill your child!

The day that I walked through the doors at Birth Choice was the same day I was supposed to go for my abortion. I am so glad I didn't. That would have been one thing I could never forgive myself for. Now I have two beautiful daughters thanks to Birth Choice! Things get hard sometimes having two kids under two, but at the same time, I would never give them up. I love them so much — they are my world!

Nicole visited Birth Choice of Oklahoma, Inc.

Faces of Option Ultrasound Index

All Pregnancy Medical Clinics in the Option Ultrasound Program provide limited obstetrical ultrasound as medically indicated.  Clinics are licensed to operate under the supervision of a physician, using only trained sonographers. Focus on the Family does not endorse the use of ultrasound outside of a medical clinic setting and does not endorse the use of ultrasound for non-medical reasons.  Patient referrals are made to physicians for follow-up diagnosis and care as needed.